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Thursday, September 15, 2011

Heaven, Chick Fil-A, and 10 years

It clicked for her today. It may have been before today but today was the day that she referenced her daddy and said, 'He doesn't even know me ...yet.' While laying her head on her princess pillow with me laying beside her in a twin bed...she longed for him to know her today...not as a baby but as an almost 4 year old.
YET....
yet (yt)
adv.
1. At this time; for the present: isn't ready yet.
2. Up to a specified time; thus far: The end had not yet come.
3. At a future time; eventually: may yet change his mind.
4. Besides; in addition: returned for yet another helping.
5. Still more; even: a yet sadder tale.
6. Nevertheless: young yet wise.
What a word. At a future time...in addition to....still more....you better believe it Campbell. YET we know that he will know her one day. He will know that precious lively firecracker of an angel who would absolutely melt his heart when she cries. He will know her wit, her spunk, her zest and her trademark pig tails. He will know her compassion and her love for every human in her life and even the ones she doesn't know. He will know and relish her aptitude for details and her insatiable need to hold, love on, touch, play with and attend to babies...real ones and fake ones. And she will know him.
THE ULTIMATE YET.......Yet I am always with you: you hold me by my right hand. Ps 73:23 He does hold her with HIS LOVING, TRUSTWORTHY, NAIL-SCARRED right hand. When she realizes that her daddy truly did not know the person she is even more from this point on...I will share this verse with her. I will comfort her with His words because mine are so inadequate comparatively. His right hand and my left.....we are a team and make no mistake Campbell....He's got us!!!
And...in the next breath that little peanut asks me if when we get to heaven if we will be able to 'come down' for a Chick Fil-A milkshake.....and no I'm not kidding. She's three..clearly. Of all the things to 'come down' for....a milkshake seems quite reasonable don't you think? My emotional come apart was quickly diverted by this comment.
And......it's been 10 years tomorrow since Todd met Jesus. My my how life has changed for all of us in the last 10 years.....and in the next 10 it will again. He is the Constant.... for me, there was no other place to turn in the last 10 or the next 65. My prayer tonight is for four sets of parents who have one child on earth and one in heaven. My heart aches for them while I hold onto my living legacies. I truly never understood how Ed and Glenda felt until I had my own babies and even then, I can't even fathom....losing a child cannot be compared. I am humbled to watch Ed and Glenda pour out themselves as a drink offering to other families who have lost children. They use their loss for His glory and I am so proud of how God has used them to help others cope, understand, and laugh again. Todd would be so proud of you both and I am privileged to walk along side you for His glory alone.
What a difference a day can make....a realization of what should be for Campbell and a decade of anniversaries remembered. I stand in awe of what He has done, how He has moved, who He has changed in the last 10 years. Believing Him for exceedingly more than I could ask or imagine.....I Love YOU!!

6 comments:

Rebecca said...

I couldn't sleep! I had thought all week of Todd and how it feels like yesterday. Every Sept. 11th I recall seeing him for the last time watching the coverage of that day. I often think of Blair not knowing that angel. Thank goodness we will see them both again. I miss them both so much:)

Dan said...

That was very inspiring. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

The Penter Family said...

Rachel. I love your blog. God totally has us. We are so secure. HIS love never ceases to amaze. I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH.

AND, Colton asked me a few weeks ago if there would be cake in heaven. Sounds like Colt and Campbell think alike!I bet God loves that! Ha!

Amy said...

so beautiful. thank you for sharing your heart and precious campbell's. continued blessings to you all.

Leah said...

tears and laughter. So much love to you, Rachel, and ALL of the family.

Brad, Amy, Bes and Mae said...

Sweet Camel. She sure does love her some babies... Now when someone asks Mae if she was dropped on her head as a baby she can answer "as a matter of fact, I was!!" ha!