Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The clip moved

Does your kid have a clip? Oh, I bet they do if they are in any form of learning academy. For those of you who don’t understand, a clip is the behavior chart and my little buddy has one and has used his clip multiple times already….and he’s been in school a few days.

Just a little back story…I’m one of ‘those’ moms. You know the one who sits down to read with a very typical six year old BOY and he flips a few words around and doesn’t want to read at all and I’m broken hearted. The irony is I NEVER read for pleasure…other than the WORD and only to learn something about how cool Jesus is and my spiritual journey….typically. I read the Cliff Notes in high school… why would it be unusual to me that my kid isn’t really digging reading to me? Hmmmmmm……..and yet……

 I freak out and have him tested for dyslexia.  Help me…I beg you.

And…he’s fine. I paid a small fortune to find out that he reads more than age appropriately and he’s active. Awesome!!!

So, this is a glimpse into my summer and why this whole clip moving thing got me into a such a tizzy.

In order to encourage my child to be less active and LISTEN…..I offered the ultimate in reward to a six year old science and arachnid obsessed little boy…... A  TARANTULA for his birthday.  Because…..a tarantula only has to be fed one time a week and that poor thing might actually survive in our house only needing food one time per week. Good odds for Faulkners.  Oh me this is it, he is going to be the most incredible listener ever after this first eight weeks because he wants this worse than anything he’s ever wanted.

So, I rush back from my precious grandmother’s funeral to pick him up from school the first day….beyond ready to receive his excitement and fervor for a new year with the MARY POPPINS of a first grade teacher that he has, Mrs. Perkins. 

He gets in the car and sadly pronounces he got his clip moved to WARNING. YOU DID  WHAT?????????????? There is no way that my kid’s clip got moved the first day of school….no way, no way, no way. BUT…it did and I had to face it. So I emailed Mary Poppins to explain to her that this was devastating and we were ‘ON THIS’…..make no mistake.  And I went to my boy whose dreams of hairy spiders were dashed in a simple clip move for the moment and he was devastated.

I had had an emotional day to put it mildly and this sent me over the top…I cried…he cried….I went to my bed to cry as the weight of parenting fell on me...the single mom widow of two children trudging through the muck of a fallen world with no helper. And…I caved. I could not do this…I could not ‘make’ my kid behave….I could not ‘make’ him listen and because he was folding his paper and practicing his origami skill set during the instructions (which is why he got his clip moved).  I went into one of the darkest moments to date as a parent.  It’s ridiculous now….go ahead and laugh (especially you teachers)…..but in the moment I had failed.

As I got it together and walked from the kitchen back to the bathtub with the kids….HE …THE HE…THE HUSBAND TO THE WIDOW said this….’My grace is sufficient for you sweet girl.’

And it is…..and I wept because I knew in that moment….grace was radically bestowed on me when I didn’t deserve it and therefore I extend that to my own….not without consequence….but with love and compassion as we sit on the MERCY SEAT together. Jesus moved our clip back to orange when he DIED ….and that is where my clip stays when He sees me. Does He instruct and encourage? Oh yes HE does.…..right back to who WE are IN HIM.  

Davis….tomorrow is another day….another chance to show us all who you really are……and that is an amazing little boy who listens. Do it buddy!!!! Your tarantula awaits.

I truly think I needed Davis’s clip to be moved for me to feel grace and to know that HIS NAME IS JESUS.


Lori said...

I got your post (and heard your incredible testimony) off of Lillightomine. Loved your words in this post and how you fell on Jesus and related the clip chart to God! I will lift you up to Him, as I think having a one year old with a husband to help is still so hard. And the pressures we put on ourselves as parents!
As a former elementary teacher, let me say that consistency with a behavior management system at the beginning of the year is KEY for a teacher, and the students, to have crystal clear expectations of what is acceptable behavior and what is not. That she called him out does not necessarily mean anything is WAY wrong, just that she's trying to show the students (all of them watching, too), what 'normal' will look like in that classroom. That is God's grace to your little Davis to have a teacher who is 'nipping it in the bud' and going to make the rest of his school year smoother. Praying for you both!

The Reeds said...

I'm sitting in a doctor's office tearing up but smiling so they don't think I'm a weirdo:)
I hate you're going through this, but you are setting an amazing example for me and other moms. We all have our days, and I try to remind myself that even if Mike was alive, I'd probably still have my days. (I know I would, because I had Trent tested- and insisted on enrolling him- in speech because he wasn't talking enough at 18 months, only for him to start taking in sentences when he turned two:) Lesson learned- His time (and even our children's time) trumps ours.
I love you friend and am praying for you and your precious children!!

Elizabeth said...

I love you! You are truly one of the greatest moms I know! I only wish that Davis was in MY first grade class! I know his teacher appreciates more than anything that you CARE and that you WANT your child to succeed! Trust me, I encounter plenty of parents at my school who are so passive about their child's behavior. Or they think it is MY fault and not their precious baby's! :)

Thank you for always writing from your heart! And when Davis gets that tarantula, please send me a picture!

I miss you and love you!

Leah said...

Big Smile, Rachel. I love that I get to enjoy your posts as you document charis moments along this amazing journey. Love you, friend. I love Davis and Cam too. Can't wait to hang out soon.

Jenifer Parris said...

Hi Rachel, I stumbled upon your blog today and then made the connection that I had seen your testimony video a while back. What a testament you are to God's gracious love for us and the strength he gives us in difficult times. I shared this post with a friend who is struggling with the same things with her precious little boy. Thanks for sharing! I searched and searched for an email address for you but couldn't locate one. :-( I would love to offer you a blog design free of charge if you are interested. You can read here to see why I do them. :-)

Take care and look forward to hearing from you! You can reach me at